Taxi

Taxi’s –  From the time you first arrive in Thailand to the time you arrive at the  airport for your departure from Thailand you must always be on alert for Taxi  scams.  From, “No Meter” to “Where you go  today Closed” you will almost always be a target for the unscrupulous taxi  driver.

Suvarnabhumi Airport –  Once you clear Immigrations collect your  baggage and proceed through customs your very first encounter will be a well  dressed pleasant young woman offering you “Taxi Service”.  If you are on a budget or want to start  experiencing the real Thailand right off then keep walking.  If you are not on a budget and staying at  four or five start hotel, I would suggest that you arrange to be picked up at  the airport by your hotel before you arrive.   If you are staying at a Sheraton, Westin or nicer the hotel will have  several Mercedes or BMW’s hotel cars that will whisk you to and from the airport in  comfort, relative safety, for the same percentage mark up that they add to a  small package of M&M’s in the mini bar of your waiting hotel room.  The advantage of the hotel cars is that they  will not run you all over town, try to take you to “A very good tailor for cheap” on the way to the hotel and you can bill it to your room.  The downside of course is that you will be paying  Five to Ten Times more than a street taxi.   (The Sheraton Grand advertises 2,200.00 Baht one way for a E220 Mercedes  without tip and a regular street taxi would be about +/-  220.00 Baht + 50.00 Baht airport Charge and  90.00 Baht Road Tolls for a total of 360.00 Baht with out tip.  In US Dollars that would be $11.00 VS $68.00)

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What does that $57.00 buy you?  First thing that it buys you Comfort, both  physical comfort and emotional comfort.    The Hotel car will be a newer Mercedes E220 versus anything from a 20  year old to a one year old Toyota Corolla which you get is luck of the draw.  The hotel car will be waiting for you right  as you emerge from the customs hall; you will not have to walk down two floors  with your luggage and possibly wait in line outside without any air conditioning.  The driver of the hotel  car is an employee of the hotel to whom he will have to answer to if he does  anything wrong Vs. an independent who most likely will have to answer to a wife  if he does not come home with enough baht to keep her in lottery tickets and  beer.

Now that you have weighed the two options in  your mind and you have decided that you have already spent enough on airline tickets, airport food and drinks and that you would rather spend that $57.00 on  shopping or going out to eat or since you are in Bangkok both.  You have opted to jump right into your Thailand vacation like a true Thai and take the public Taxi.  What should you be on the lookout for so you  don’t end up paying that extra $57.00 to the public taxi without even knowing  it?

Once you leave the customs hall at the airport  and get past the well dressed pleasant ladies offering you pretty much the same  deal as the five star hotels offer but for about 10% less than the five star  hotels are charging.  Where do go and  what do you do to get the public taxi to your hotel?  You will need to go to the “Public Taxi”  stand.  Do not acknowledge the gentleman  offering you “Taxi” or “Ride” as you are pushing your Airport luggage cart  overflowing with suitcases and turning your head like an owl trying to find the  “Public Taxi” Stand.  The “Public Taxi”  Stand is no longer located right outside the large glass doors leading to the  street on the same level as you arrive.   You must go down to the second floor to find your taxi.  Amazing Thailand.  As you keep walking past all the overpriced,  not insured illegal touts to get the legal taxi’s you will walk toward the  elevators.  They are pretty easy to find  as when you leave the customs hall you are walking in an isle way between the  large glass wall of the airport and all the locals there to meet friends and  family arriving at the same time as you did.   At the end of this isle way you will either have to turn toward the  large glass doors toward the streets or toward the elevator.  As you are facing the elevator look back over  your shoulder just to inside part of the isle way you came out of and you will  see a moving sidewalk going down.  Take  the moving sidewalk headed down, don’t worry your over flowing luggage cart has  automatic wheel locks to keep it from bobsledding down moving sidewalk.

Once you have gone down two floors you will  come to the end of the moving sidewalk.   Now you go through the large glass doors to the curb and to you will see  signs that say “Public Taxi”  If you are  lucky there will be no or a very short queue.   Once you get to the desk tell the lady the name of your hotel, it is  also good to have a street name that your hotel is on.  She will hand you a ticket and will walk past  her.  This is where and when you start to  clench your sphincter as tight as possible.   You meet your “Public Taxi” Driver and he leads you to your “Public  Taxi”.  As you have most likely been  travelling for the better part of a day by this point and haven’t showered or  slept well for 24 hours, you have only been out of the air conditioned airport  for about 5-15 minutes and your shirt is sticking to your back as it’s at least  in the mid 80’s and all you can think of is getting to your hotel showering and  sleeping, Smile.  Now keep that smile on  your face when the driver opens the trunk to his car and you look in to see  that 80% of the trunk space is occupied by a propane tank.  Yep, all taxis in Thailand have an  aftermarket Propane tank in their trunks.   This leaves enough space for a small suitcase and your carry on in the  trunk.  That is when the driver takes  your larger bags to the front passenger seat to load it in there.

Now that your luggage is sitting comfortably  in the front seat receiving all the flow from the air conditioning vents and  you are in the rear seat with no air conditioning vents the driver has had time  to size you up and will blurt out a number.   Now mind you, what number the driver says has absolutely no reference to  the distance to neither your destination, nor the amount of time that is should  take to get there.   This number is all  about you.  Yes you.  This is your Farang Factor.  Farang is the Thai word for Tourist, or more  exact American, Australian, European tourist.   If the number that the driver offers is high i.e. 1,000 Baht you have  scored extremely high.  The driver is  thinking of you as we would think if we saw the Griswold’s pull up to Disney  land.   A 1,000 Baht takes most blue  collar workers in Thailand about 3-5 days to make and this driver is hoping to  make it from you in the next 30-45 minutes.   Just keep smiling and think to yourself “Amazing Thailand”

Your now have Two options.  Your fist option is attempt to prove to him  that you do not resemble Clark Griswold in any way and to Answer with a  friendly but firm “Meter” with that smile still waxed on to your face.  Or to let the taxi driver know that you might  be a distant cousin to Clark Griswold by answering with a lower number.  If you answer with your first option of  “Meter” and you are leaving the “Public Taxi” stand at Suvarnabhumi Airport you  have about a 60% chance that meter will work properly.  A little better than half but unless you’re  familiar with your way around Bangkok, even a meter working properly going an  extra 10-20 Kilometers out of your way or driving down one of the world’s most  congested roads will still amount to much higher than “Normal” fare.  Or option two, a lower number.  This will of course be a higher number than a  “Normal” fare but it does eliminate the longer routes or sitting by choice in  an hour long traffic jam. (Do not fool yourself by thinking that a taxi driver  cannot find a traffic jam in Bangkok any time day or night.)

What if the Taxi driver pulls out of the  parking space after making sure your large suitcase is comfortable in the only  seat with any legroom and the best air conditioning vents, without offering up  a number and proceeds to turn on his meter head toward your hotel without a word  spoken?  One of two things will  happen.  The driver either knows that the  meter has been calibrated by himself or a brother in law that works helping the  cause of the working class taxi driver to be able to buy their uniforms at  Paragon or Emporium.  You will know these  taxi’s as their meters increase exponentially with no known reason.

The starting rate on a taxi meter should be 35  Baht.  This is good for the first 1 Km  and the first 90 seconds of wait time or speeds under 5 Km per hour.  Then the meter increases by 2 Baht per every  4 / 10th of a Km. For the first 12 Km.  Then is a jump by .5 baht to 5.5 Baht per Km  for 12 – 20 KM and 6. Baht per KM for 20 – 40 Km. and 2 Baht for every 90  Second of wait time.

So a trip of 40 Km. with a total wait time at  lights of 10 minutes would run, 35 + 60 + 44 + 120 + 14 = 273 Baht.  If you leave from the Airport there is a 50  Baht surcharge so your total with out tip would be 323 Baht and that should  take you to most any place in Bangkok from the airport.

This might be a good time to give you a simple  way to convert Baht to USD in your head.   This is not exact but a very close very quick way to make the  exchange.  Multiply by 3 and move the  decimal point to the left two spaces.  So  323 Baht would be (323 X 3 = 969.00  Move  the decimal Place by two and you get $9.69).   The exact exchange on July 19, 2010 is 323 Baht is $10.0046 USD.

Or, you have been lucky enough to get an  honest taxi driver with a legitimate meter.    If this honest taxi drivers drives at normal speed and a safe distance  from the cars in front of him on the expressway, please please be sure to tip  him well and maybe get a picture of him as he is one of the last left of a  nearly extinct breed.

Taxi’s Outside your Hotel:
Outside every hotel in Thailand you find Taxi’s parked along  the street waiting for customers.  Some  of them might have a “Tour” sign posted with destinations and prices.  As you walk by they will offer you a ride to  where ever you want to go and most of the time to places you would Never want  to go.   The best advice about these  Taxi’s is to “Just Stay Away”
There are so many Taxi’s on the streets of Bangkok and they  come in so many different colors that you can literally take a Taxi to match  your or your wife’s outfit.  If there are  no Taxi’s when you walk out of your Hotel or Store, just walk to the nearest  large street and one will be along in a few minutes.  The way that you can tell a Taxi is available  for hire is look at the lower right corner of the front windshield, if there is  a little bright red light.  It is there  “For Hire” sign.  Just extend your hand  out palm toward the ground and curl your fingers into the palm of your hand.  When the taxi stops open the door and tell  the driver where you want to go before you get into the Taxi.  A lot of Taxi’s will pass up a fare for a  number of reasons, they have to get the taxi back for the next drivers shift,  they have another fare they have to meet, they don’t speak English and don’t  want to bother with trying.  Don’t let it  bother you as there will be another one along in a moment.
If after you tell the driver where you want to go and he  says 100 Baht.  Just smile shake your  head and close the door.  If he says “Ok,  Ok Meter” you can either go with him and hope that he takes you directly there  or just keep looking for another taxi.  I  suggest the later.

Phuket Taxi – If you are visiting Phuket and are arriving by  air you can either arrange to be picked up at the airport by your hotel at a  much more reasonable rate than the Bangkok Hotels.  If your hotel does not arrange this service  there is a Taxi Desk at the Phuket airport.   They are fast reliable and are about the same rate as you will get  anyplace.  Phuket does not have many  independent taxi’s or large taxi companies.   So this private service is your best option for getting to your hotel  from the airport.  On your way out of the  baggage claim there will be a desk on either side of the door going out to the  street.  You can either arrange passage  in a van carrying other passengers or for a private car.  I believe the rate for a private car from the  airport to any hotel in the Patong Beach area is around 600-650 Baht each way,  this is for the whole car.  If you take  the van unless your hotel is the first stop you may end up going to several  different hotels before they reach your stop.   As you pay per trip you don’t have to worry about being taken the long  way as the driver gets paid per trip so he will want to get you there as fast  as possible.

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      Once you are in Patong Beach, there are only a few private  car taxi’s, they are all independent and are all very very expensive.  They belong to the Tuk Tuk Mafia.  A Tuk Tuk is very popular way of transporting  people in Thailand.  It is a three wheel  vehicle based on a motorcycle.  In Bangkok  they are a large tourist trap offering rides for a minimum of 100 – 300 Baht to  Tourist where the same ride in an airconditioned Taxi would run you around  40-80 Baht.   The only place in Bangkok where you might pay the normal 30-40 Baht per  trip would be in China town.  Back to  Patong Tuk Tuk’s.  These are all run by  the Tuk Tuk Mafia and these guys are not to be messed with.  They control the market and charge a minimum  of 200 Baht per trip but most likely will request 500 Baht.  Either agree or politely say no and move  on.  It is not uncommon for Tuk Tuk  drivers to get into physical altercation with drunk tourist in Patong.  When a Farang gets into a physical  altercation with one Thai Person he will soon be in an altercation with all  Thai persons in the area.  The Tuk Tuk  drivers are no exception to this rule.

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      If you are travelling alone in Patong or there are just two  of you, it is easier and much cheaper to take a Motorcye.  A Motorcye is a Motor Cycle Taxi.  You can get almost anywhere in Patong for 40  – 50 Baht one way.  Double that if you  ride two people on one more Motorcye.   These Motorcye’s are recognized by their Blue or Orange vest they where  while they ride around.  There are also  Motorcye stands located all over Patong.
You can also catch a Motorcye in Bangkok and with the  traffic being so bad in Bangkok it is a great alternative to the Taxi’s.  These Motorcye’s weave in and out of traffic  and will get you to your destination pretty quickly and safely.